I’m now wonderfully unemployed, I mean scarily, stressfully and overwhelmingly. They’re the words I’m supposed to use when talking about unemployment, we should be stressed and worried. We should be scared to not have a job, a career plan or an idea of what’s next, trust me I know it has got to be right because it was installed into my brain by multiple teachers, career advisors and tutors. Who never told me about the scary things like poor mental health, credit scores or how to live alone and pay bills but managed to make sure my biggest fear was never getting to university. I was forced to decide on a future that I was 100% sure of, something that would be a career and not just a ‘job’ baring in mind I was a little less than 15 years old when we began to feel the pressure of what we wanted to do nevermind who we wanted to be . When I was in school I didn’t have a career plan and went from one thing to the other every few days but I was dead set that my life would be awesome. My own naivety might be the reason I had such a heavy downfall when a different version of college became my reality and the sudden panic of who I was and where I was going while been utterly depressed suddenly came sweeping into my life and drowned everything in its path. Please don’t let me trick you into thinking the education system is completely useless as I fully understand how privileged we are to receive this early education for free and I know many children don’t get the chance to be taught in schools. But as they go the career advisors I managed to see didn’t help at all, which may, in fact, be my own poor mental health as a massive downfall for me I wasn’t strong enough to take any advise whether good or bad at that moment in time. I had just come out a counselling appointment where we had decided to leave education and I was a mess. However, I believe this “you haven’t got the capability to do your dream” speech was a little overwhelming for a young person who was struggling and if I may add a little cold.
As soon as I decided to leave, a massive weight had been lifted from my shoulders and my dreaded headache eased now that I had finally taken the plunge to put myself first instead of money and the society need to be employed. I have no income and too many people, that’s stupid to leave a job with no idea where your next sum of money is coming from and the smart thing would be to wait and stick it out because finding a job is so much easier while you have one. So I keep being reminded after I handed in my notice, which possibly in some cases is true if your motivated to get out of that company but don’t be afraid to leave a workplace that is making you unhappy due to the belief you’ll only find work if your working. I have had two employers be interested in hiring me in the short two weeks I’ve been unemployed, why because somehow I have the motivation to find something I want to do or something that benefits my ideal dreams in the long run when I’m stuck overthinking alone every day. While working I had little energy to do anything else afterwards, my brain would shut down and motivation would cease to exist after three o’clock nevermind after five. I had a constant headache that would break me down into laying in bed in the dark or crying while trying to eat tea wishing it was Friday. The hobbies I had became something I couldn’t achieve, something I couldn’t enjoy because I was constantly overwhelmed and exhausted.
I’m far more confident after taking the plunge to put myself before what society is constantly reminding me of who I should be and what I should be doing at this age. I believed I was no good and that I made a huge mistake in my life. I’m wanting to remind everyone that you have to work for a long period of time so you might as well enjoy what you do. I feel that you shouldn’t put money and society ahead of your own needs, self-belief and mental health.