I’m not and was never prepared for 2018, it’s now nearly the end of the third month of the year and I’m in the same spot as I was in December. Where did my New Year resolutions disappear and why am I sitting here watching the days float past me like a time-hop from the moment I wake up to the moment I close my eyes. Enduring nothing worth getting excited about and wishing for two days out of the week that last a combined of about two minutes. Yes, it does sound like someone who’s sitting back and you’re probably mostly right. I’m waiting for that something awesome to come along, the idea that changes / creates my life and 2018 was going to be the year for it to come in to being or so I can hope. I’ve struggled with what I’m ‘meant’ to do in this life for a while, making it hard for me to choose my career path or who I am. This was such a problem last year and I’m honestly scared that I’m heading down the repeated track I know so much.
March you are making me crazy, the time spring begins and I’m stuck in my wellies smothered by a winter depression. I was sure 2018 was going to be my year when the clock struck midnight saying a drunken goodbye to the horrible 17 I wish I could wipe out. I was positive that 2018 was going to be different which is possibly why I’m so not ok with it being three months over with a countdown to Christmas already beginning for some people. No resolutions completed, no wonderful business bouncing up like the flowers should be or any idea of what’s going to make my fortune but a cold, wet and dark cloud smothering my business plans like a cloak of mist engulfing the hope of growing independence. That cloud is self-doubt, anxiety and most certainly depression. I fear failure and for businesses, it’s sure as hell a risk I can not bring myself to take. Unfortunately, I have experienced these aspects of poor mental health for a long period of time and I’m sure that this cannot be brought into my future business plans. I have seen businesses controlled by worry, panics and overpowering sadness that make it hard to improve, grow and boost the end call.
When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it. – Henry Ford
Finding an idea, trying to produce a successful business is extremely hard and stressful from the word go. The word successful is key here as we all know businesses fail a lot and this is something I’m sure many entrepreneurs or people like me, who dream of being in control of their life are fearing as they struggle to take the steps into the business world. For me it’s a where to start, what can I do that people will spend time, money or have interest in. I’m currently stuck in the sign-up stage when really I should be dwelling on the starting line just waiting for the gun to fire a start running shot. A shot that springs young business minds into their new career every single day. The excitement overtaking and stumbles beginning to form over the laces of the new idea. Yet they strengthen and become people like Mark Zuckernerg, Steve Jobs and Sir Alan Sugar. I’m not sure many people can get to the level they have and I’m not promising such success by getting out there and pushing yourself to a higher level of mental health.
However I’m not looking for my own pity party, I had that a while ago. I’m now ready to expand, grow and empower. Although I’ve struggled with poor mental health and continue to do so I’m ready to step up my game promote myself for everything I can do and not doubt my ability for because of my poor mental health. Admire The Beautiful is back with a new look, new writing and new goals to change the way I see the world and how the world sees me. I’m not prepared for 2018 or anything that it throws my way but I’m motivated to improve this year and myself to better and create a business or even idea throughout the next nine months.